Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
