i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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