did you get engaged???
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
