remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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