i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
