You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
