Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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