Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
