Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
