im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
