There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
