i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
