Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
