man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
People with herpes should wear stickers.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Help. Why am I so naked?
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