It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
