I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
