youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Farmville is her only friend.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Randomize
