Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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