I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
