TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
