is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
