your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
