do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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