Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
its not stalking. its research.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
