I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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