You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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