you guys were way drunker than both of me
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
