Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
