if i can run in heels then i can drive
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
