you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
