And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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