Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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