i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
