I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
