why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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