i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
