i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
We need to get me chipped asap
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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