I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize