OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
