I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
