yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
He better not be in your backpack
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
