The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Randomize
