Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
