is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
