ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
