To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
