Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
