Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
