My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
