i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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