another moral hangover. fuck.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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