please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
