The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
