I want to stick my p in your. b.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
