I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
