We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Randomize
