The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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