I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
