Can Purell be used as lube?
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
