im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
