Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
you never un-have a 4some
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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