Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Randomize
