is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
