Someone shit on the floor
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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