just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
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