I think i peed on brittanys purse
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
