So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
