I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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